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lukas7331 46
Postad: 9 feb 2020

Assassination of Olof Palme

Hej!

Har en uppgift att skriva om en svensk historisk händelse på engelska och jag har valt palme mordet. 

Här är min text:

Assassination of Olof Palme

On the night of February 28, 1986, around eleven o`clock in the evening did the prime minister leave his suite at grand hotel in central Stockholm together with his wife Lisbet and son Mårten with his girlfriend. After a short call outside the cinema, Palme and Lisbet stroll south along Sveavägen, against their residence in the old town. After a few hundred meters the traversed the street to the east pavement because Lisbet wanted to cast an eye on a storefront. They then continued south along Sveavägen. When the couple passed the store Lisbet earlier observed and reached the junction between Tunnelgatan and Sveavägen a man came up quickly from the shadows and fired two shots at a rapid rate. First bullet hit Palme dead center in the back and pierced esophagus, trachea and large body pulmonary vein also passing through the sternum before exiting his body. The second bullet that exited the offenders gun couple seconds later, missed Lisbets body with a stone`s throw away. Second later after the gun was fired the offender began running east along Tunnelgatan, upwards the stairs and further east. Here two acquaintances, Nieminen and Zahir, made the final safe observation of Palme killer.

The day after the police got an anonymous tip that a man which was called Victor Gunnarsson. A Young woman had at ten o`clock at the murder hours visited a café together with friends, there they met a man which expressed a strong hatred against Palme. Several similar tips came into the police at the first couple of days after the murder.  Gunnarsson was questioned but the interrogations didn’t lead to any significant evidence.

Swedish police also showed an early interest in Christer Pettersson a hole year after the murder night police got tips that he filled in the description of the phantom picture. He was brought in for questioning the 14 December 1988, and he also got to participate in a series of witness confrontations. The confrontations were recorded and when the wife of Olof Palme got to see the recordings, she pointed out Christer Pettersson as the murder of her husband. In July 1989 did Christer Pettersson receive a sentence for the murder of prime minister of a dissenting district court. On the 2 November of 1989 did Svea sent a court order announcing that Christer Pettersson had been released and released from charges of the murder of Olof Palme. Because he appealed his case and Lisbet was inconclusive witness. The suspicions remained despite the court’s acquittal. For some, he was a killer who got away. For others he is a grateful scapegoat for a murder investigation in search of a resort.

They theories revolving the Palme murder and endless and there are plenty of questions. Thirty years passed since Olof Palme was shot in the back at the intersection of Sveavägen and Tunnelgatan in Stockholm. The Palme murder remains unsolved.

 

Kom gärna med konstruktiv kritik eller ändringar jag kan göra för att ta min text till en ny nivå. 

Tack på förhand!!

Affe Jkpg 5854
Postad: 9 feb 2020

Du skriver för långa meningar. Exempel:

On February 28, 1986, at around 11pm, the Prime Minister left Grand Hotel in central Stockholm. His wife Lisbet, son Mårten with his girlfriend, went with him. After visiting a cinema theatre they parted. Palme and Lisbeth ...

...missed Lisbets body with a stone`s throw away. Du menar säkert inte detta :-) Ett stenkast är ett obegripligt långt avstånd i detta sammanhang, där du egentligen menar.... 

Laguna 7388
Postad: 9 feb 2020

Bion ifråga hette Grand, det är inte tal om nån svit på Grand Hotel.

"safe observation" ska nog vara "reliable observation".

Uttrycket "short call" förstår jag inte.

Ebola 1052
Postad: 10 feb 2020 Redigerad: 10 feb 2020
lukas7331 skrev:

Hej!

Har en uppgift att skriva om en svensk historisk händelse på engelska och jag har valt palme mordet. 

Mycket bra text måste jag säga. Du har ganska många småfel här och där men överlag är du bra på att skriva. Märk väl att en del av ändringarna jag gjort kan betraktas som en åsiktsfråga så återkom gärna med om du inte håller med om mina ändringar.

Struket är din text och rättat är i fetstil. Ibland kommenterar jag inom parentes om jag exempelvis lagt till kommatecken eller undrar vad du menar.

Assassination of Olof Palme

On the night of February 28, 1986, around eleven o`clock o'clock in the evening, (kommatecken här) did the prime minister leave left his suite at grand hotel the Grand cinema in central Stockholm together with his wife Lisbet and son Mårten with his girlfriend his wife Lisbet, son Mårten and Mårten's fiancé. After a short call (Vad menar du här? Ett kort samtal? Skriv då "After a short chat") outside the cinema, Palme and Lisbet began to stroll south along Sveavägen, against towards their residence in the old town. After a few hundred meters the they traversed crossed the street to the east pavement because Lisbet wanted to cast an eye on a storefront. They then continued south along Sveavägen. When the couple passed the store Lisbet earlier observed and reached the junction between Tunnelgatan and Sveavägen a man came up quickly from the shadows and fired two shots at a rapid rate. The First bullet hit Palme dead center in the back and pierced the esophagus, trachea and large body pulmonary vein also aorta while also passing through the sternum before exiting his body. The second bullet that exited the offenders gun a couple of seconds later, narrowly missed Lisbets body with a stone`s throw away. Seconds (pluralisera här med ett s) later after the gun was fired the offender began running east along Tunnelgatan, upwards (inget s behövs på slutet här, skriv bara upward) the stairs and further east. Here (jag skulle vilja ha komma här istället "Here, two acquaintances Nieminen and Zahir,") two acquaintances, Nieminen and Zahir, made the final safe last known observation of the Palme killer.

The day after the police got an anonymous tip that about a man which was called named Victor Gunnarsson. A Young woman had at ten o`clock at the murder hours, close to the time of the murder, visited a café together with friends (behövs inget komma här) there where they met a man which who expressed a strong hatred against Palme. Several similar tips came into were received by the police at the first couple of days after the murder.  Gunnarsson was questioned but the interrogations didn’t lead to any significant evidence. (Här föreslår jag att du skriver "Gunnarsson was questioned but the investigators found no significant evidence that could tie him to the crime so he was released from custody.")

Swedish police also showed an early interest in Christer Pettersson. (punkt här) A hole whole year after the murder night, (kommatecken här) police got received tips that he filled in matched the description of the phantom picture police sketch made from eyewitness testimonies. He was brought in for questioning the 14 December 1988, and he also got had to participate in a series of witness confrontations. The confrontations were recorded and when the wife of Olof Palme got to see the recordings, she pointed out Christer Pettersson as the murder murderer of her husband. In July 1989 did Christer Pettersson receive a sentence was sentenced for the murder of prime minister Olof Palme of by a dissenting district court. On the 2 November of 1989, (komma här) did Svea (Svea? Vad eller vem är det?) sent a court order announcing that Christer Pettersson had been released and released from charges of the murder of Olof Palme that the murder charges against him had been dropped. This happened because he appealed his case and Lisbet was deemed an inconclusive witness. The suspicions remained despite the court’s acquittal. For some, he was a killer who got away. For others he is a, now grateful, scapegoat for a murder investigation in search of a resort that was in dire need of a break in the case.

They The theories revolving the Palme murder and are endless and there are plenty of questions. Thirty years has passed since Olof Palme was shot in the back at the intersection of Sveavägen and Tunnelgatan in Stockholm. The Palme murder remains unsolved.

lukas7331 46
Postad: 10 feb 2020

Tack för all hjälp och tips. 

Gjorde många av dina ändringar som fick min text att ha ett mycket bättre flytt. Stort tack ebola

Jag ändrade även Svea till Svea court.

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