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svay12345 55
Postad: 23 feb 2018

Essay vill nån kolla igenom

Hej har skrivit en essay om slavery och undrar om nån vill läsa igeonm och ge mig lite tips på om jag kan skriva nåt mer eller ändra, kan skicka länken 

jonis10 1902
Postad: 23 feb 2018

Hej

Jag tror inte så många här har lust att gå in på någon länk, så jag tipsar dig om att lägga upp din text här istället.

svay12345 55
Postad: 23 feb 2018

här är texten :

When you think about slavery, you often think about the so-called ”triangle market” between the 17th and 19th century.  It was called so because of the trade route composed a triangle on the world map.  This is the structure of the triangle market:  A ship, often English that was loaded with guns, etc. went to West Africa and changed out its’ items that it had brought with it, in exchange for captured slaves.

The tribes in Africa went along with switch because they wanted the weapons. The slaves were then sent to the colonies in America. In America, they wanted to have slaves so they could exchange them for sugar and cotton. With the new cargo, the ship returns to England with the new items. The loop ends with the boat trading in its’ sugar and cotton to guns so it can continue its’ cycle.

The black slaves in the USA got to perform slave labor under inhumane conditions. The americans dehumanized the black people that were slaves, people used the slaves as objects and they used them as exchange goods without any civil liberties. In 1856 the slavery was abolished in the USA.

But what is the reason that the United States and England did this horrific act?

The American, in the USA, found it difficult to obtain labor for their plantations. No white people wanted to work with heavy labor, they did for instance not want to grow and plow because of the hot climate. The slaves were owned by the plantation owners and they were the cheapest laborer, they were given food and a shelter. Therefore, the English decided to import slaves from Africa so they could do the work for them. For more than 400 years, the slave trade between Africa and America was ongoing. At least 10 million slaves were brought across the Atlantic to America.

But why did nobody do anything?

The thing is that the slave trade was not controlled by any state or government. It was an economic project organized and funded by the free market according to demand and access. The captive could not do anything themselves because they could be killed or tortured.

The slave trade did just not  happen in the USA, it also happened in other countries like Brazil and Spain . It was the Europeans who did the slave trade but the Americans who had slaves.

How is it today?

Slave trade is not over, it is still ongoing. Especially black people are exposed to trafficking, people sell them and use them once again as goods. This is happening right now  in Libya, black people are getting sold and become slaves to people and the captive is constantly exposed to mental and illegal compulsion . These people that are getting people have moved from their home country because of war/poverty or something else.

It is crazy that the history still goes on even if slavery is forbidden throughout the world and it is illegal to make somebody a slave, yet millions of children, women, and men are forced to slave labor every day.

What can you do?

We must fight against this issue, people that are getting sold are our fellow human beings and we must be there for them and support them and we have to prevent this problem that is out there in the world. We must stop being watchers, we can not pay attention once and then be silent we must talk and fight against this, As Martin Luther King said  ”the silence of the good people is more dangerous than the brutality of the bad people.

We can stop this by reducing poverty because slavery is often related to poverty. Poor people that lack power over their own lives or property is more vulnerable and easier to exploit. These poor people have not learned about human rights so they are more easily tricked and exploited. One can help and counteract everything from debt slavery to trafficking in human beings. First, by choosing more carefully what you buy in the groceries and clothing stores and partly by learning more and disseminating information to your environment.

How does media spread this and what does the society do now?

When the world was told about this, many people in the world started by noting that they wanted a change. Celebrities and people spread about this on their social media and this lasted about 2 weeks after that in some way stopped paying so much attention to the issue that is happening. Right now media has not been aware of the news. The Society is forgetting that slavery still exists. ”He who does not know his history is doomed to repeat it” This means that anyone who has not read history can not learn from other people’s mistakes. We must learn from the mistaken ones engaged in the triangle handel and remember it.

Will it end?

I hope it will end, no, I want it to end. Together we can prevent this from continuing, we can help our people. This is my and your people, they should not have to go through this tragedy, NO ONE needs to go through this regardless child, adult or ethnicity. In the future, it will be a CHANGE and there may be a CHANGE now if you want it and pay attention to it and not just throw it away. You can share about slavery on social media, you can donate money to various help organizations. We can together influence by making us heard.

WE NEED TO STOP THE HISTORY!

Helette 83
Postad: 26 feb 2018

(Maybe some kind of introduction would fit in here + a heading; to make your readers interested in your subject?) When you think about slavery, you often think about the so-called ”triangle market” (I think that I would consider “Triangular trade” or “Atlantic triangular slave trade” to be a more familiar term) between the 17th and 19th century.(double)  It was called so (hmmm. “The name came up as trade route composed/../”?)because of the trade route composed a triangle on the world map.(double)  This is the structure of the triangle market:(double)  A ship, often English that was loaded with guns, etc. went to West Africa and changed out its’ items that it had brought with it, in exchange for captured slaves.(This sentence is pretty long. Perhaps you could split it to a couple of sentences?)

The tribes in Africa went along with switch because they wanted the weapons. The slaves were then sent to the colonies in America. In America, they wanted to have slaves so they could exchange them for sugar and cotton. With the new cargo, the ship returns to England with the new items. The loop ends with the boat trading in its’ sugar and cotton to guns so it can continue its’ cycle.

The black slaves in the USA got to perform slave labor under inhumane conditions. (Don’t start the next sentence with “The” aswell. If you use your connecting words in the beginning of the the sentence; such as “For example, the Americans dehumanized/.../”; the flow in your text will be improved. = ) ) The americans dehumanized the black people that were slaves, people used the slaves as objects and they used them as exchange goods without any civil liberties. In 1856 the slavery was abolished in the USA.

But what is the reason that the United States and England did this horrific act? (Is this a subheading? Otherwise you might want to include it into the paragraph.)

The American, in the USA, found it difficult to obtain labor for their plantations. No white people wanted to work with heavy labor, they did for instance not want to grow and plow because of the hot climate. The slaves were owned by the plantation owners and they were the cheapest laborer, they were given food and a shelter. Therefore, the English decided to import slaves from Africa so they could do the work for them. For more than 400 years, the slave trade between Africa and America was ongoing. At least 10 million slaves were brought across the Atlantic to America.

But why did nobody do anything? (Subheading?)

The thing is that the slave trade was not controlled by any state or government. It was an economic project organized and funded by the free market according to demand and access. (demand and supply) The captive could not do anything themselves because they could be killed or tortured.

The slave trade did just not(double)  happen in the USA, it also happened in other countries like Brazil and Spain . It was the Europeans who did the slave trade but the Americans who had slaves.

How is it today?(Subheading?)

Slave trade is not over, it is still ongoing. Especially black people are exposed to trafficking, people sell them and use them once again as goods. This is happening right now (double) in Libya, black people are getting sold and become slaves to people and the captive is constantly exposed to mental and illegal compulsion. These people that are getting people have moved from their home country because of war/poverty or something else.

It is crazy that the history still goes on even if slavery is forbidden throughout the world and it is illegal to make somebody a slave, yet millions of children, women, and men are forced to slave labor every day.

What can you do?(Subheading?)

We must fight against this issue, people that are getting sold are our fellow human beings and we must be there for them and support them and we have to prevent this problem that is out there in the world. We must stop being watchers, we can not pay attention once and then be silent we must talk and fight against this, As Martin Luther King said  ”the silence of the good people is more dangerous than the brutality of the bad people.

We can stop this by reducing poverty because slavery is often related to poverty. Poor people that lack power over their own lives or property is more vulnerable and easier to exploit. These poor people have not learned about human rights so they are more easily tricked and exploited. One can help and counteract everything from debt slavery to trafficking in human beings. First, by choosing more carefully what you buy in the groceries and clothing stores and partly by learning more and disseminating information to your environment.

How does media spread this and what does the society do now?(Subheading?)

When the world was told about this, many people in the world started by noting that they wanted a change. Celebrities and people spread about this on their social media and this lasted about 2 weeks after that in some way stopped paying so much attention to the issue that is happening. Right now media has not been aware of the news. The Society is forgetting that slavery still exists. ”He who does not know his history is doomed to repeat it” This means that anyone who has not read history can not learn from other people’s mistakes. We must learn from the mistaken ones engaged in the triangle handel and remember it.

Will it end?(Subheading?)

I hope it will end, no, I want it to end. Together we can prevent this from continuing, we can help our people. This is my and your people(maybe a bit awkward phrase as you are arguing that nobody should belong to another human being?), they should not have to go through this tragedy, NO ONE needs to go through this regardless child, adult or ethnicity. (age, gender or ethnicity?) In the future, it will be a CHANGE and there may be a CHANGE now if you want it and pay attention to it and not just throw it away. You can share about slavery on social media, you can donate money to various help organizations. We can together influence by making us heard.

WE NEED TO STOP THE HISTORY! (The history cannot be stopped. But we could make sure that it does not repeat. I guess)

Here is some of my opinions. Best of luck with your essay! = )

svay12345 55
Postad: 26 feb 2018
Helette skrev : Thank you so much

(Maybe some kind of introduction would fit in here + a heading; to make your readers interested in your subject?) When you think about slavery, you often think about the so-called ”triangle market” (I think that I would consider “Triangular trade” or “Atlantic triangular slave trade” to be a more familiar term) between the 17th and 19th century.(double)  It was called so (hmmm. “The name came up as trade route composed/../”?)because of the trade route composed a triangle on the world map.(double)  This is the structure of the triangle market:(double)  A ship, often English that was loaded with guns, etc. went to West Africa and changed out its’ items that it had brought with it, in exchange for captured slaves.(This sentence is pretty long. Perhaps you could split it to a couple of sentences?)

The tribes in Africa went along with switch because they wanted the weapons. The slaves were then sent to the colonies in America. In America, they wanted to have slaves so they could exchange them for sugar and cotton. With the new cargo, the ship returns to England with the new items. The loop ends with the boat trading in its’ sugar and cotton to guns so it can continue its’ cycle.

The black slaves in the USA got to perform slave labor under inhumane conditions. (Don’t start the next sentence with “The” aswell. If you use your connecting words in the beginning of the the sentence; such as “For example, the Americans dehumanized/.../”; the flow in your text will be improved. = ) ) The americans dehumanized the black people that were slaves, people used the slaves as objects and they used them as exchange goods without any civil liberties. In 1856 the slavery was abolished in the USA.

But what is the reason that the United States and England did this horrific act? (Is this a subheading? Otherwise you might want to include it into the paragraph.)

The American, in the USA, found it difficult to obtain labor for their plantations. No white people wanted to work with heavy labor, they did for instance not want to grow and plow because of the hot climate. The slaves were owned by the plantation owners and they were the cheapest laborer, they were given food and a shelter. Therefore, the English decided to import slaves from Africa so they could do the work for them. For more than 400 years, the slave trade between Africa and America was ongoing. At least 10 million slaves were brought across the Atlantic to America.

But why did nobody do anything? (Subheading?)

The thing is that the slave trade was not controlled by any state or government. It was an economic project organized and funded by the free market according to demand and access. (demand and supply) The captive could not do anything themselves because they could be killed or tortured.

The slave trade did just not(double)  happen in the USA, it also happened in other countries like Brazil and Spain . It was the Europeans who did the slave trade but the Americans who had slaves.

How is it today?(Subheading?)

Slave trade is not over, it is still ongoing. Especially black people are exposed to trafficking, people sell them and use them once again as goods. This is happening right now (double) in Libya, black people are getting sold and become slaves to people and the captive is constantly exposed to mental and illegal compulsion. These people that are getting people have moved from their home country because of war/poverty or something else.

It is crazy that the history still goes on even if slavery is forbidden throughout the world and it is illegal to make somebody a slave, yet millions of children, women, and men are forced to slave labor every day.

What can you do?(Subheading?)

We must fight against this issue, people that are getting sold are our fellow human beings and we must be there for them and support them and we have to prevent this problem that is out there in the world. We must stop being watchers, we can not pay attention once and then be silent we must talk and fight against this, As Martin Luther King said  ”the silence of the good people is more dangerous than the brutality of the bad people.

We can stop this by reducing poverty because slavery is often related to poverty. Poor people that lack power over their own lives or property is more vulnerable and easier to exploit. These poor people have not learned about human rights so they are more easily tricked and exploited. One can help and counteract everything from debt slavery to trafficking in human beings. First, by choosing more carefully what you buy in the groceries and clothing stores and partly by learning more and disseminating information to your environment.

How does media spread this and what does the society do now?(Subheading?)

When the world was told about this, many people in the world started by noting that they wanted a change. Celebrities and people spread about this on their social media and this lasted about 2 weeks after that in some way stopped paying so much attention to the issue that is happening. Right now media has not been aware of the news. The Society is forgetting that slavery still exists. ”He who does not know his history is doomed to repeat it” This means that anyone who has not read history can not learn from other people’s mistakes. We must learn from the mistaken ones engaged in the triangle handel and remember it.

Will it end?(Subheading?)

I hope it will end, no, I want it to end. Together we can prevent this from continuing, we can help our people. This is my and your people(maybe a bit awkward phrase as you are arguing that nobody should belong to another human being?), they should not have to go through this tragedy, NO ONE needs to go through this regardless child, adult or ethnicity. (age, gender or ethnicity?) In the future, it will be a CHANGE and there may be a CHANGE now if you want it and pay attention to it and not just throw it away. You can share about slavery on social media, you can donate money to various help organizations. We can together influence by making us heard.

WE NEED TO STOP THE HISTORY! (The history cannot be stopped. But we could make sure that it does not repeat. I guess)

Here is some of my opinions. Best of luck with your essay! = )

Svara Avbryt
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